Introduction
Are you willing to let Jesus disciple even your deepest desires, especially in the area of sexuality, rather than letting our culture (or your feelings) set the terms? The central teaching is this: God’s design for sexuality is clear and good, and the gospel provides real grace and real power for lifelong sanctification, without pride, without compromise, and without despair.
We live in confusing times, and confusion has a way of creeping close, even into church fellowship. So I want to give clarity, not to build a bunker or aim at “those people out there,” but to shepherd your heart toward Christ. When June elevates “pride,” we must remember a greater danger: the pride that looks at someone else’s sin and assumes it is worse than my own. Jesus warns us about specks and logs (Matthew 7:3–5). This topic requires grace for every one of us.
Main Points
Are you willing to let Jesus disciple even your deepest desires, especially in the area of sexuality, rather than letting our culture (or your feelings) set the terms? The central teaching is this: God’s design for sexuality is clear and good, and the gospel provides real grace and real power for lifelong sanctification, without pride, without compromise, and without despair.
We live in confusing times, and confusion has a way of creeping close, even into church fellowship. So I want to give clarity, not to build a bunker or aim at “those people out there,” but to shepherd your heart toward Christ. When June elevates “pride,” we must remember a greater danger: the pride that looks at someone else’s sin and assumes it is worse than my own. Jesus warns us about specks and logs (Matthew 7:3–5). This topic requires grace for every one of us.
Humility Before We Speak
Before we talk about God’s design, I want you to feel the posture: humility and mercy. Sexual brokenness is not an “out there” issue; it’s a human issue. In this area especially, we all need the grace of God. If you hear biblical standards and think, “Good, now we can judge the world,” you’ve missed Jesus’ warning about the log in your own eye (Matthew 7:3–5).
So I’m not training you to become harsh. I’m discipling you to become holy, and compassionate. God’s goal is not simply that we can state doctrine, but that we can be cleansed by the Spirit through the gospel.
God’s Good Design: Sex And Marriage
God has intentionally and wonderfully created each person as biologically male or female. These two distinct, complementary genders are unchangeable and together reflect God’s image and nature (Genesis 1:27 is clearly implied). That means we don’t treat self-conception, psychological conditions, physical anomalies, or feelings as able to nullify God’s design. You are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14).
Flowing from creation, God ordained marriage as a lifelong union between one man and one woman, and marriage is the only appropriate context for sexual intimacy (Genesis 2:24 implied; Jesus affirms this design in the Gospels). In a culture that insists sexual expression can exist in any context with no consequences, Scripture teaches that God’s design is beautiful, and the culture’s design is toxic.
Sin Is Real, And Includes The Heart
Sexual intimacy is God’s gift, exclusively for marriage, and any sexual relationship or expression outside of marriage is not honoring to God but sinful. This includes behavior and also the inner life, because Jesus presses beyond external rule-keeping to the heart (Matthew 5 implied; “scribes and Pharisees” language points to this).
So we must be honest: adultery, fornication, homosexuality, pornography, and sex before marriage are sinful and offensive to God. And I want you to hear why: these work against God’s design for abundant life. The “bad news” is heavy, but it is meant to drive us to the Savior who really forgives and really transforms.
Singleness Is Honored, Purity Is For All
I want you to breathe: singleness is a gift from God and should be celebrated and honored. There is no pressure to hurry into marriage just to gain permission for desires. There is unique access in singleness to serve God, cultivate friendship, and live with focused devotion.
At the same time, God’s call to purity applies to everyone: those who are not married should not engage in sexual activity, whether in thought or action. Temptation is real; grace is available; and obedience is possible by the Spirit.
Don’t Affirm What Destroys People
Love does not mean affirming sin. There is a real temptation, especially for leaders, churches, and ministries, to “go with the flow,” to offer a comforting message, grow an audience, and avoid hard repentance. Some even go further and call evil good and good evil.
But I need you to understand this clearly: to affirm someone in sexual immorality without calling them to repentance is false teaching that leads people astray. It is not loving, because sin destroys. Jesus said the thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but the Good Shepherd comes to give life (John 10:10). My aim is never to affirm what will ruin you.
Grace Trains Us To Repent And Obey
The hope is not willpower. The hope is the gospel of Jesus Christ and the sanctifying, cleansing power of the Holy Spirit. Christ died for our sin, was buried, and rose again, real history, real salvation. Because of that love, obedience is not legalism; it’s the fruit of faith.
And we must reject the counterfeit message: “Come get a weekly dose of grace and keep the sin.” Paul would say, “Heaven forbid” (Romans 6 implied). Grace does not permit us to continue in sinful desires and behaviors. Hebrews 10 is referenced as a place where we see God’s call to cleansing and persevering faith. Grace forgives, and grace transforms.
Redemption For Anyone, Hope For The Harvest
God offers redemption and restoration to all who confess and repent. No sexual sin is too great for God to forgive. The law condemns everyone; the gospel welcomes everyone who comes to Jesus for mercy.
So don’t fall into prideful distance from a sexually confused world. Jesus saw people as “sheep without a shepherd” and spoke of a great harvest (Matthew 9:35–38). Our response is not condemnation but mission: pray to the Lord of the harvest to send laborers, and then become those laborers, calling people from sin to their Savior.
Lifelong Sanctification, New Identity In Christ
Sanctification is a lifelong process. Specific temptations may or may not become less enticing, but progressive victory is possible as we continually submit to God’s framework by the power of the Spirit. Sexual temptation does not define who you are. You are not doomed; this is not hopeless.
And the deepest freedom is this: we do not root our identity in sexuality or gender, but in the new life offered through Jesus Christ by the Spirit. Also, we do not hold nonbelievers to Christian standards before they come to Christ. People who are dead in sin need resurrection, not mere moral correction. We hope for them, pray for them, and invite them into the transforming power of the gospel.
Conclusion
I want you to hold these beliefs with humility, grace, and mercy. God’s design is clear: male and female, marriage between one man and one woman, sex as a gift reserved for marriage, and purity in thought and action for married and single alike. God’s diagnosis is also clear: sexual immorality is sin, and affirming it is not love.
But God’s good news is clearer still: no sin is too great for the cross, no temptation must define you, and sanctification is possible through the Holy Spirit. So let’s refuse pride, refuse compromise, and refuse despair. Let’s be a people who are being cleansed, and who lovingly invite others into the same gospel power.
Father, we come to You with humility, confessing that we all need Your grace in the area of sexuality, our thoughts, our desires, our actions, and our identities. Thank You for creating us with intention and goodness, and for giving us Your wise design for life. Forgive us for every way we have sinned against You sexually, and for every way we have been proud, harsh, or self-righteous toward others.
Lord Jesus, thank You for the cross and resurrection, real salvation for real sinners. Holy Spirit, apply the gospel deeply to us. Cleanse us, strengthen us, and lead us into obedience that brings abundant life. Give us compassion for those who are confused and hurting. Make us laborers for the harvest, praying, loving, and speaking truth with gentleness. Root our identity in Christ alone, and renew every aspect of our lives by Your transforming power. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Conclusion
I want you to hold these beliefs with humility, grace, and mercy. God’s design is clear: male and female, marriage between one man and one woman, sex as a gift reserved for marriage, and purity in thought and action for married and single alike. God’s diagnosis is also clear: sexual immorality is sin, and affirming it is not love.
But God’s good news is clearer still: no sin is too great for the cross, no temptation must define you, and sanctification is possible through the Holy Spirit. So let’s refuse pride, refuse compromise, and refuse despair. Let’s be a people who are being cleansed, and who lovingly invite others into the same gospel power.
Closing Prayer
Father, we come to You with humility, confessing that we all need Your grace in the area of sexuality, our thoughts, our desires, our actions, and our identities. Thank You for creating us with intention and goodness, and for giving us Your wise design for life. Forgive us for every way we have sinned against You sexually, and for every way we have been proud, harsh, or self-righteous toward others.
Lord Jesus, thank You for the cross and resurrection, real salvation for real sinners. Holy Spirit, apply the gospel deeply to us. Cleanse us, strengthen us, and lead us into obedience that brings abundant life. Give us compassion for those who are confused and hurting. Make us laborers for the harvest, praying, loving, and speaking truth with gentleness. Root our identity in Christ alone, and renew every aspect of our lives by Your transforming power. In Jesus’ name, amen.