Introduction
Are you becoming the kind of man or woman others can genuinely follow, or are you only admiring maturity from a distance without knowing how to grow into it? The central teaching I want to press into your life is this: the grace of God is not only what brings you into Christ’s kingdom, but also what trains you, day by day, to live as a transformed, disciple-making citizen of that kingdom (Titus 2:11–12). This hit me in a simple moment: a rainy, cold Monday night at community group, bowls of red bean chili in hand, talking through Titus. We had just studied the passage about older men and women discipling younger men and women, what respectable, reverent, self-controlled lives look like. We talked about people we respect, and the qualities we admire. But something felt missing. The question beneath all our discussion was: How do you actually become that kind of person?
As we’ve walked through Titus, we’ve talked about foundations, faith, truth, hope, godliness. But what holds it all together, like the tabletop on a table? What makes Christian discipleship distinctly Christian and not just moral improvement? Grace.
Main Points
Are you becoming the kind of man or woman others can genuinely follow, or are you only admiring maturity from a distance without knowing how to grow into it? The central teaching I want to press into your life is this: the grace of God is not only what brings you into Christ’s kingdom, but also what trains you, day by day, to live as a transformed, disciple-making citizen of that kingdom (Titus 2:11–12).
This hit me in a simple moment: a rainy, cold Monday night at community group, bowls of red bean chili in hand, talking through Titus. We had just studied the passage about older men and women discipling younger men and women, what respectable, reverent, self-controlled lives look like. We talked about people we respect, and the qualities we admire. But something felt missing. The question beneath all our discussion was: How do you actually become that kind of person?
As we’ve walked through Titus, we’ve talked about foundations, faith, truth, hope, godliness. But what holds it all together, like the tabletop on a table? What makes Christian discipleship distinctly Christian and not just moral improvement? Grace.
Grace Is The Missing Tabletop
Paul intentionally builds to this moment in Titus 2. He begins verse 11 with “for,” tying everything prior to the engine that makes it run:
- Why raise up elders of character (Titus 1)?
- Why disciple younger men and women into maturity (Titus 2:1–10)?
- Why pursue godliness that adorns the gospel?
Because grace is the power and the pattern behind it all. Without grace, Titus can sound like advice for respectable people. With grace, it becomes training for redeemed people.
Paul says it plainly: “For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men” (Titus 2:11). Grace is what gets you into the kingdom, and it’s what keeps changing you once you’re in.
So if you’ve been thinking, “I love the vision of discipleship, but how do I get there?”, this is for you. And if you’re newer to church and feel behind everyone else, this is for you too. Grace is not just the entry point. It’s the pathway.
Two False Gospels Of “Grace”
Before we can be trained by grace, we have to reject counterfeit versions of it, because false grace will either crush you or excuse you.
1) Grace as a booster (“after all you can do”) Some religious systems frame grace as the tiny gap-filler after you’ve performed well enough. Even when the word “grace” is used, it’s treated like a final supplement: you do 80–99%, and grace covers the rest. That is not grace; that is wages with a religious garnish. And it produces fear, pride, comparison, and despair.
2) Grace as permission (“cheap grace”) On the other side is what Dietrich Bonhoeffer warned about: “cheap grace… grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ living and incarnate.” This version says, “I’m covered, so I don’t have to change.” It treats grace like a heaven ticket while keeping life on earth untouched.
Both versions are lies. One denies grace by adding merit; the other denies grace by removing transformation.
Grace Is Undeserved, Active Favor
Biblically, grace (Paul’s charis) is God’s undeserved and active favor, God giving what we could never earn, and continuing to give what we could never sustain.
Grace is “incongruent,” meaning God’s gift is so high and lavish that nothing we bring can match it. He doesn’t meet us halfway. He rescues. And when God looks at us in Christ, He does not see our record as the defining reality, He sees His Son.
Paul emphasizes that this grace “has appeared” (Titus 2:11). Grace is not only a concept; it has a face and a history. It has “shown up” in the person of Jesus, His life, death, and resurrection. God has always been gracious, but grace appears with clarity in Christ.
And notice: it has appeared to all. There isn’t one gospel for “religious types” and another for “Cretans” (or for Boise, or for your workplace, or your family). We don’t get to soften hard edges or edit the message to make it palatable. Jesus is still “the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6). There is one gospel, one Savior, one grace.
Grace Trains You Like A Teacher
Paul’s next words are the discipleship breakthrough: grace doesn’t merely save; grace educates. “Training us…” (Titus 2:12)
So please hear me: grace is not only the moment you believed, prayed, or were baptized. Grace is not only what happened “back then.” Grace is the ongoing power of God that keeps working on you “right now.”
Grace teaches in three intertwined ways:
- Revelation
- Correction
- Direction
This is how you become the kind of person Titus describes, not by white-knuckled self-improvement, but by being trained by grace.
Grace Reveals God And Reveals You
Grace first reveals. It teaches us what we could never discover on our own.
Left to ourselves, we could not find God. We might later tell a story as if we “searched our way” into faith, books we read, questions we asked, church services we attended. But grace trains us to remember: even our seeking was a gift. Apart from God initiating, we would never have Googled, never have shown up, never have opened a Bible, never have truly desired Him.
God makes Himself known:
- Through creation (a general witness, what you sense when you’re out in the foothills and your heart is stirred by beauty, power, order).
- Through Scripture (a specific witness, God’s clear self-disclosure through His Word).
Grace also reveals you to you. Every time the Spirit shows you a sin to confess, a pattern to confront, a strength to steward, a wound to heal, that is grace at work. Not condemnation. Not mere self-awareness. Grace.
Grace Corrects By Teaching Denial
Then grace corrects: “Training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions…” (Titus 2:12, ESV)
Paul’s language is decisive: not “reduce” ungodliness, not “manage” worldly lust, but deny them. Grace teaches you to say, “No.”
And that “no” goes deeper than behavior. Jesus makes this clear in His teaching: it’s not only “do not murder,” but also the anger in the heart (cf. Matthew 5). Many of us can avoid the outward act yet still be ruled by the inward impulse.
Grace trains you beyond restraint toward transformation. Over time, grace can so change your reflexes that when something happens that would normally provoke anger, what rises up first is not rage but forgiveness, love, clarity, and self-control.
So when the Spirit points to something in your life, an indulgence, a fantasy, a bitterness, a secret habit, don’t interpret that as God being harsh. Interpret it as God saying, “I love you too much to leave you there. I have a better way.”
Grace Directs Toward A New Way Of Life
Grace does not only empty your life of what destroys you, it fills your life with what renews you. If you only remove “bad,” the void will pull you back. Grace corrects, and then grace directs:
“[Training us] to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age” (Titus 2:12).
Paul names three directions:
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Soberly (Self-Controlled / Clear-Minded) Grace trains you to see clearly and choose wisely. You are not meant to live dulled, driven, reactive, or ruled by appetite. You are a real human being made to reflect God, not to sink into patterns that make you less rational, less loving, less free. Grace enables the kind of self-control that leads to flourishing for you and for those around you.
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Righteously (Upright / Justly) This isn’t merely personal morality. It includes justice, bringing what is good and right into your relationships and into the world around you. Grace makes us God’s kingdom people who pray and live, “Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:10). Grace doesn’t retreat from a broken world; it produces men and women who do what is right within it.
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Godly (Devoted To God Here And Now) Notice Paul says “in the present age.” Grace does not train you for a future spiritual life only; it trains you to live as God’s person in today’s pressures, temptations, and responsibilities, work, family, church, suffering, conflict, and joy.
This is how discipleship becomes real: grace gives you power to say “no” to ungodliness and “yes” to a whole new manner of life, inside and out.
Conclusion
The question we started with, “How do I become the kind of person worthy of imitation and capable of discipling others?”, has a Christian answer: you become that person by being saved and trained by the grace of God revealed in Jesus Christ (Titus 2:11–12).
Grace is not “after all you can do,” and it’s not a permission slip to stay the same. Grace is God’s undeserved, active favor that brings salvation, reveals truth, corrects what destroys you, and directs you into a clear-minded, just, godly life, right now.
So I’m calling you, gently and sincerely: don’t merely admire maturity. Don’t settle for a gospel that is either crushing or cheap. Come back to the real grace of God, the tabletop that holds the whole life together.
Father, thank You for the grace of God that brings salvation and has appeared to us in Jesus Christ. Forgive us for the times we’ve treated grace like something we earn after all our effort, and forgive us for the times we’ve treated grace like permission to stay unchanged. Train us by Your grace. Reveal more of who You are to us through creation and through Your Word, and reveal what is true about our hearts. Give us strength to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and direct us to live self-controlled, righteous, and godly lives in this present age. Help us become disciples who make disciples, not by striving in the flesh, but by walking in step with Your Spirit. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Conclusion
The question we started with, “How do I become the kind of person worthy of imitation and capable of discipling others?”, has a Christian answer: you become that person by being saved and trained by the grace of God revealed in Jesus Christ (Titus 2:11–12).
Grace is not “after all you can do,” and it’s not a permission slip to stay the same. Grace is God’s undeserved, active favor that brings salvation, reveals truth, corrects what destroys you, and directs you into a clear-minded, just, godly life, right now.
So I’m calling you, gently and sincerely: don’t merely admire maturity. Don’t settle for a gospel that is either crushing or cheap. Come back to the real grace of God, the tabletop that holds the whole life together.
Closing Prayer
Father, thank You for the grace of God that brings salvation and has appeared to us in Jesus Christ. Forgive us for the times we’ve treated grace like something we earn after all our effort, and forgive us for the times we’ve treated grace like permission to stay unchanged. Train us by Your grace. Reveal more of who You are to us through creation and through Your Word, and reveal what is true about our hearts. Give us strength to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and direct us to live self-controlled, righteous, and godly lives in this present age. Help us become disciples who make disciples, not by striving in the flesh, but by walking in step with Your Spirit. In Jesus’ name, amen.