Introduction
Are you drifting from Christ in the “everyday” places, especially in the classic areas of temptation like sex, money, and power? The central teaching of Hebrews 13:4 is that trusting God and loving one another shows up in real life by honoring God’s design for marriage: it is beautiful, it is joyful, and it carries serious danger when treated outside God’s boundaries. Hebrews 13 is where all the soaring theology of Christ’s supremacy becomes practical. After learning to “continue in brotherly love” (Heb. 13:1), we now slow down and look at one verse that gives us a clear path forward when we’re exhausted and need encouragement to endure faithfully:
“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” (Heb. 13:4)
This matters whether you’re married or not. All of us came from a man and woman. Many of us carry wounds or disappointments connected to marriage. So I want to elevate God’s design, not to shame you, but to call you to healing, holiness, and hope as we submit to God’s Word together.
Main Points
Are you drifting from Christ in the “everyday” places, especially in the classic areas of temptation like sex, money, and power? The central teaching of Hebrews 13:4 is that trusting God and loving one another shows up in real life by honoring God’s design for marriage: it is beautiful, it is joyful, and it carries serious danger when treated outside God’s boundaries.
Hebrews 13 is where all the soaring theology of Christ’s supremacy becomes practical. After learning to “continue in brotherly love” (Heb. 13:1), we now slow down and look at one verse that gives us a clear path forward when we’re exhausted and need encouragement to endure faithfully:
“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” (Heb. 13:4)
This matters whether you’re married or not. All of us came from a man and woman. Many of us carry wounds or disappointments connected to marriage. So I want to elevate God’s design, not to shame you, but to call you to healing, holiness, and hope as we submit to God’s Word together.
Marriage Is Beautiful and Honorable
Hebrews says, “Marriage is honorable among all.” That means marriage is not a second-class institution, not something to mock, and not something to be embarrassed about. Scripture consistently speaks of marriage as a good gift:
- Proverbs 18:22 , “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.”
- Genesis 2:18 , “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
- Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 , “Two are better than one… For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow.”
To “honor” marriage is to proclaim its beauty. I want you to hear that clearly: in a culture that often treats marriage like a joke (“the old ball and chain”), we’re called to speak differently and live differently. We pause sometimes in church not only to cover broad doctrines, but to say, “Thank You, God, for Your design,” and to strengthen marriages through discipleship, mentoring, and intentional encouragement.
If you’ve been enduring in marriage, imperfectly, but faithfully, receive this as God’s affirmation: well done. Keep running the race together.
Honor Marriage From the Outside and Within
We honor marriage “among all” in two directions.
From the outside: We celebrate it, we prepare people for it, and we build a church culture that doesn’t cynically tear it down. We don’t shrug at marriage as outdated or unnecessary; we treat it as worth protecting and worth pursuing wisely.
From within: If you’re married, your calling is not to join the cultural pattern of husband-bashing or wife-bashing, men retreating to their “man cave,” women escaping into their own circles, both sides mocking and complaining. That path makes us indistinguishable from the world.
Instead, you and I must honor marriage by honoring each other, serving, forgiving, encouraging, praying, and taking seriously the responsibility to be your spouse’s one righteous place for romance and intimacy. I love the old quote that captures the spirit of this:
“Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.” (attributed to Martin Luther)
That’s not sentimental fluff. That’s the fruit of Hebrews endurance applied to everyday love.
Resist the Common Ways We Dishonor Marriage
If honoring marriage means proclaiming its beauty, dishonoring marriage means treating God’s covenant lightly. I want to be plain, because Hebrews is plain.
Some common drifts that dishonor marriage include:
- Treating divorce as an easy option when things get hard, rather than seeing marriage as a lifelong covenant that reflects God’s steadfast covenant love. (Scripture speaks to grievous exceptions like adultery and abandonment, but our culture often normalizes the “D-word” as a first resort rather than a tragic last step.)
- Living together as if married while refusing the covenant itself. That is not honoring; it’s enjoying the benefits while rejecting the design.
- Neglecting your marriage, letting busyness, kids, work, or exhaustion push your spouse to the margins until the relationship “dies on the vine.” Hebrews warns us about drifting; neglect is a quiet form of drift.
- Redefining marriage away from God’s revealed design (from the beginning, marriage is man and woman). Redefinition is an old temptation: “Did God really mean…?” It’s not wisdom; it’s rebellion dressed up as insight.
Where you see drift, I’m calling you, gently but directly, to repent and return to God’s good pattern.
The Marriage Bed Is Joyful and Pure
Hebrews doesn’t only elevate marriage; it elevates sex in its proper context: “the bed undefiled.” That’s biblical language for marital intimacy, and it is intentionally positive.
Some people absorb a kind of “bad theology” that says sex is dirty, or that the only thing the Bible has to say is “don’t.” But in marriage, Scripture says the opposite: this is pure, holy, and meant to be enjoyed without shame.
It’s striking that the Bible opens with two naked people in a garden, “naked and… unashamed” (cf. Gen. 2:25), and a command to be fruitful and multiply. Shame enters with the fall, and sin twists what God made clean. Hebrews is helping us reclaim holiness not as gloomy restriction, but as freedom to enjoy God’s gifts the way He designed them.
God’s Purposes: Children and Pleasure
Within marriage, God gives real purposes for intimacy, and Hebrews 13:4 sits comfortably with the whole Bible’s teaching.
- For reproduction , from the beginning, God blessed man and woman and commanded fruitfulness. Children are meant to be welcomed in order, not multiplied in chaos. And one of the greatest gifts you can give a child is not merely resources or activities, but a strong mother-father bond that endures.
I also want to say clearly: not every couple is able to have children, and that reality is not automatic proof of sin. Trust God’s sovereign goodness and His specific plan for your marriage and your life.
- For pleasure , the Bible is not shy about this. Proverbs speaks openly and joyfully about rejoicing in the wife (Prov. 5:18–19). The point is simple: God is not embarrassed by His good gift. He is honored when we receive it with gratitude and holiness.
If you’re married and you carry guilt or confusion that keeps you from enjoying what God calls “undefiled,” I want to help you see: purity is not the enemy of pleasure, purity protects pleasure.
The River Is Deadly Outside God’s Design
Hebrews 13:4 holds warning right next to blessing:
- “the bed undefiled”
- “fornicators and adulterers God will judge”
That closeness is important. It teaches us not to be naïve. One helpful way to remember it is this: like a powerful river, marriage and sexual intimacy are beautiful, fun, and deadly if approached without God’s safety and boundaries.
God’s judgment language isn’t meant to crush tender consciences; it’s meant to wake us up. Sexual immorality and adultery are not small errors, they are covenant-breaking sins that destroy people, families, churches, and futures. The danger is real, so the call is loving: stay within God’s design, because that’s where beauty and joy are preserved.
Conclusion
Hebrews has been teaching us to endure, to keep Christ above everything and not drift. Here, the Spirit applies that endurance to marriage and sexuality:
- Honor marriage, proclaim its beauty, strengthen it, and refuse the world’s cynicism.
- Keep the marriage bed undefiled, receive intimacy as God’s good gift in the covenant.
- Fear God’s warning, because outside His design, what was meant for joy becomes destructive, and God will judge sexual sin.
Whether you’re married, single, wounded, hopeful, or weary: God is good. He hears the cries of your heart. He can heal what is broken, strengthen what is weak, and guide you into a faithful future as you submit to His Word.
Father, thank You for Your wise and loving design for marriage. Teach us to honor what You call honorable, and to stop treating lightly what You call holy. Strengthen husbands and wives in our church to endure with tenderness, faithfulness, forgiveness, and joy. Heal those who carry pain from brokenness in marriage and sexuality, and give them hope in Christ. For those who are tempted to drift into sexual sin, provide a clear way of escape and a renewed fear of You that leads to life. Make us a holy people, set apart not by shame, but by joyful obedience. We ask this in Jesus’ name, amen.
Conclusion
Hebrews has been teaching us to endure, to keep Christ above everything and not drift. Here, the Spirit applies that endurance to marriage and sexuality:
- Honor marriage, proclaim its beauty, strengthen it, and refuse the world’s cynicism.
- Keep the marriage bed undefiled, receive intimacy as God’s good gift in the covenant.
- Fear God’s warning, because outside His design, what was meant for joy becomes destructive, and God will judge sexual sin.
Whether you’re married, single, wounded, hopeful, or weary: God is good. He hears the cries of your heart. He can heal what is broken, strengthen what is weak, and guide you into a faithful future as you submit to His Word.
Closing Prayer
Father, thank You for Your wise and loving design for marriage. Teach us to honor what You call honorable, and to stop treating lightly what You call holy. Strengthen husbands and wives in our church to endure with tenderness, faithfulness, forgiveness, and joy. Heal those who carry pain from brokenness in marriage and sexuality, and give them hope in Christ. For those who are tempted to drift into sexual sin, provide a clear way of escape and a renewed fear of You that leads to life. Make us a holy people, set apart not by shame, but by joyful obedience. We ask this in Jesus’ name, amen.